


Complication

by orlesiantitans



Series: 100 Themes [17]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Post-Trespasser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:38:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5671282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orlesiantitans/pseuds/orlesiantitans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was a complication, and an unnecessary one at that. Solas had long thought himself past such base desires as lust and love, thought himself impervious to them after all he had wrought on his people. But he had always been a weak creature, had always found it too easy to fall for those he should not have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complication

She was a complication, and an unnecessary one at that. Solas had long thought himself past such base desires as lust and love, thought himself impervious to them after all he had wrought on his people. But he had always been a weak creature, had always found it too easy to fall for those he should not have. He’d sworn when he joined the Inquisition, he _would not_ form attachments. And when he first met Cassandra, the woman he had _assumed_ would be leading them, he’d thought he’d have no difficulty. But she softened towards him in time, and Varric gave him nicknames, Josephine sent him small cakes while he was working on trying to save Lavellan, and he once again knew he was finding friends- but this time, it was in a world he knew _in advance_ he’d have to destroy.

And then _she_ came along, introducing herself as Ellana, and she was all smiling eyes and friendly chats, and _oh_ , the way she tilted her head when he explained something to her. Genuine interest in what he had to say, interest that wasn’t simply a means to an end, but a thirst for knowledge. She was _delightful_.

Then came the kiss in the Fade, something that caught him off guard and had him responding, _eagerly_. The first of many faults when it came to her.

He was stood before her again just a few years later, but in a much different situation, a bow held loosely in one hand. She was propped up against a pillar, exhausted but persistent. He hadn’t even noticed until this point that she was even doing anything- he’d suspected, of course, that she may have been, but…

To the right of her stood a young human man, his eyes flickering between them. He knew this face- this was the one who has been active in his attempts to stop him. He hadn’t known Ellana had been behind the boy’s recruitment, that she’d been getting fed information and had been feeding information to him. A commoner from Starkhaven and the Herald of Andraste working together to stop the Dread Wolf.

“Leave us, Alexander,” she instructed, and the man looked ready to protest before they exchanged a look, and he backed away.

“I’ll let Lace know that you’ll be held up,” he replied, voice soft and filled with a sort of affection Solas hadn’t expected. Ellana clearly didn’t notice the boy’s attraction, but he did. Jealousy burned  in his chest, but he attempted to dampen the flame.

They stare each other down for a few moments. She sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose.

“It seems I got here just on time. Alexander mentioned that the foci were disappearing from temples just before he managed to get there. It took a long time for us to even track you down, though I could have tried a little harder. A man so fond of secrets would spend his time in Dirthamen’s temple, as opposed to his own.”

Solas let out a bitter laugh, “My temples lie in ruins. Only one remains, and it is cloaked by magic. I did not even wish for them to _exist_ in the first place.”

He slumped visibly and walked over to the table, where the foci glowed slightly in the dim light. Mythal’s- one that glowed with a pure white light- responded to his presence, but the others remained mostly silent, just a soft light. The sight of them reminded him of his task, and he reached out to touch one, hovering over the surface of it for just a moment before pulling his hand back. He would not take on a mark as she had, once.

She came up behind him, her hand going to rest on his back, taking the weapon he’d been keeping with him from his hand, placing it on the ground before turning him to face her. He’d noticed the other arm, a prosthetic no doubt- though it was covered by her armour and glove. Her expression was open to him, filled with the same pain he had no doubt his own mirrored. She sighed, hand moving up as if to touch his cheek, before seeming to think better of it. Dropping like a heavy weight to her side, she took a step back, averting her eyes to the floor. He longed to pull her into him, kiss her as he had done before. His heart yearned for the days she would stand in his rotunda, asking him questions and stealing the occasional kiss when he appeared to be getting to melancholy. Now? There was no chance of that. She couldn’t even bear to _look_ at him, and to lose her after everything he’d done in the attempt to regain what had once been? He couldn’t afford to waver.

His hand reached out regardless, cupping her cheek and putting just a slight amount of pressure there in order to get her to meet his eyes. She jumped at the contact, but looked up. He almost wished she hadn’t. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and it was difficult for him to see her like that. He still remembered the first time he’d seen her close to tears- not out of fear before Haven, not when she’d gone to a memorial for those they’d lost, no. He’d opened his door very late at night, to find her standing there- barefoot and in a nightdress- looking ready to cry.

It was then that he’d made the terrible mistake of letting her inside. Comforting her and holding her close to him, lips in her hair. Her clan was dead, she informed him, shaking like a leaf and clinging to him like he was a lifeline.

The tears didn’t abate. She told him other things- her fears over the Breach, the fear that she’d let everyone down. And that he didn’t desire her.

She’d tensed up in his arms at that. It was clear she hadn’t meant to say it. And he closed his own eyes, worried that if he didn’t collect himself, he’d admit everything to her.

That it wasn’t out of a lack of _desire_ that he’d turned down her advances, rather that he could not lay with her when she didn’t know the full extent of who he was. When he managed, he looked down at her and pressed a gentle kiss to her slightly parted lips.

He didn’t take her that night, but he used his mouth on her as a kind of reassurance, shifting away when she attempted to return the favour.

And now she was giving him a similar look, so lost and heartbroken. He sighed and leaned back against the table behind him, hand dropping to his side.

“What would you have me do, vhenan?”

A simple question. She looked up to him and raised an eyebrow, almost curious as to why he was asking her. But she somehow collected herself, making herself look more confident than she probably was.

“I would have you find _another_ way to bring down the veil. One that doesn’t involve destroying everything we’ve built here. You may feel nostalgic about Elvhenan, but there has to be another way of taking down the veil and destroying everything we’ve built. You made this world, how about you damn well trying living in it!”

She had that fire in her eyes, the one he’d seen so frequently when they were in the Inquisition. It dared him to disagree with her, and he flinched back from her. Never had it been turned on him. He thought for a long moment, trying to remember the spells he’d envoked to build it up, and his hand went to rest on one of the powered down foci, a soft glow that would not increase without it’s true master holding it. He couldn’t abandon his plan. Not after everything.

He moved closer, pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I’m sorry, vhenan,” he whispered, waving his hand  and transporting himself and what he required from the room. To the very temple he’d mentioned before. His hands clenched as he forced the idea to cement itself in his mind.

He couldn’t let himself be swayed, not even by the one he held most dear.

**Author's Note:**

> Not mentioned this before, but I do also have a tumblr! You can find me at orlesiantitans.tumblr.com . I post Dragon Age, Mass Effect, and other random ramblings. I also like to chat, so drop me a message if you want to talk!


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